IDF bombs Raigmore, "mistakes happen" says Sunak

Devastating attack put down to lost Israeli Defence Forces plane incorrectly identifying Inverness as besieged Gaza strip

The aircraft became lost while looking for hospitals to demolish

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Inverness residents were awoken early today by an earth shattering explosion as the Israeli Defence Forces mistakenly dropped a JDAM guided bomb on Raigmore Hospital. A thick column of black smoke choked the air as firefighters from across the Highlands arrived to tackle the blaze.

An IDF spokesman claimed that their F-16 fighter-bomber jet had become lost while searching for medical facilities to obliterate in Gaza. "We are at war. In wartime things like this can happen. It is not particularly unusual for a hospital 4,121 kilometres from the front line to be at risk," the spokesman said at a conference earlier today. "Our heart goes out to all of the victims of this completely understandable and normal tragedy."

The event was unusual in that it even provoked an apology from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. "There was a tragic incident today in Scotland where our forces made an unintended strike on what appeared at the time to be a legitimate target. We are very sorry," Israel's long time leader said. But his apology came with a caveat: "We maintain that Inverness closely resembles the Gaza Strip from the air, and that our pilots have become so used to demolishing hospitals over the past few months that it is second nature to them," he said.

Appalled locals demanded justice. "When my gran went into Raigmore I knew she wasn't coming back out," said local window calibrator Jarrod McMannus, "but I didn't expect the cause of death to be 'vaporised by 500kg laser guided bomb'. Our family is going to pursue compensation from the NHS for a wrongful death."

Local mineral arranger Tanisha Garvey was particularly angry. "Where am I supposed to park when I go on my holidays now?" She gestured to the rubble-strewn parking lot, now filled with evacuated patients exposed to the elements. "Pay £50 in airport parking fees? Take the bus? I don't think so, buster. What has the world come to?"

All eyes were on Downing Street, widely viewed as a passive actor in the war in Gaza, as this unprecedented attack on British soil sent shockwaves through the nation. "Well, mistakes do happen," Prime Minister Rishi Sunak told journalists at a press conference after a lengthy dinner party. "I've been told Raigmore was past its lifespan anyway. We were going to do a COBRA meeting but decided against it as this incident seems to have a big silver lining in the free demolition aspect."

In Israel the media has largely ignored the atrocity, though one prominent columnist speculated that there may have been a Hamas command centre under the Highland hospital. "Hamas has infiltrated the Scottish health system," the headline read. "Over 100 elderly terrorists eliminated in Scotland strike," another pundit claimed.